Cancer Diary

I have kept a diary of the medical care and treatment I have received ever since cancer was first diagnosed. But this does not give the full picture. I have looked at all sorts of alternative therapies as well and tried a few. Originally I did this on my own and later I found a naturopath I coould trust. I have also had to face the anxiety and depression I've experienced as a result of this illness. Having prostate cancer has been more like going before a court and being sentenced to death. I have not had any physical problems directly resulting from the cancer, although the treatments have been terrible. Like the condemned man, I've feared the possible final outcome and desperately sought means to obtain a pardon, or at least a postponement. All of this has a lot of consequences. A lot of people have given me consideration, prayed for me, and I am still in good health (apart from the unfelt cancer). But I feel guilty when I hear about good people dying quickly, especially from cancer.
I think the resulting anxiety and depression can feed the cancer, and the absence of these can help combat it. This led me to seeing a psychologist/hypnotherapist. I was in a bad way at the end of 2009 before I saw her. The health news just kept getting worse. I felt I was dying. PSA levels rose alarmingly and MRI tests showed swelling suggesting it might be in the lymph node. I was recommenced on the hormone treatment, which I was told would hold things at bay for three to four years, but after that there was nothing apart from experimental treatments. The psychologist/ hypnotherapist used a lot of imagery as well as relaxation - all about defeating the cancer. I started to believe in a future and then there was Lourdes.
I saw my GP to get the referral and Mental Health Plan in late 2009. The Plan pays for 12 psychology appointments over a year. At the time I was depressed, and a bigger problem was anxiety. However, the main issue for me was what I had heard about hypnosis as a means for fighting cancer. Nevertheless I don't think separating the psychological (or mind) and physical (my body) is useful. My mental state has lifted dramatically, and I believe my physical state has benefitted as well. I still work at it.
Back to my diary:
Friday, 26 May 2006: My mid-life crisis. I resigned my full-time job with Disability Services to concentrate on a writing course and career.
3:15pm Friday, 16 June 2006: At suggestion of wife, I saw Dr B for a referral to a dermatologist to check moles. He suggested I go for blood tests, including PSA, as part of a general check-up.
Monday, 19 June 2006: Blood test.
2:30pm Friday, 30 June 2006: Follow-up appointment with Dr B. I almost didn't go. I thought he'd inform me if there was a problem. He informs me that I have a PSA of 16.9 and conducts internal examination. He identifies hardness around the rectal part of the prostate. He makes an appointment with a urologist, Dr W, for a biopsy.
Monday, 3 July 2006: Phone for urology appointment. Dr W on holidays. Earliest available appointment is the 24th, not at his surgery but at a Community Hospital. We decide to go on a planned holiday to Tasmania (12th to the 19th). Already outside time window of GP for getting a biopsy, but he said not to worry.
Monday, 24 July 2006: Elizabeth and I keep my appointment with Dr W who conducts another internal examination and makes an appointment for a biopsy on Thursday.
12:45pm Thursday, 27 July 2006: Dr W and nurse conduct biopsy. Painful. Last sample about as much as I could take despite anaesthetic. Dr W said he'd phone me with the results over the weekend. Elizabeth picks me up to take me home.
Monday, 31 July 2006: P/c from Dr W's secretary to say that I was booked in for a CT scan of abdomen and pelvis and full body scan with Dr Jones and Partners at St Andrew's hospital next Monday. Said she'd email Dr W to remind him to phone me.
P/c from Dr W who apologised for not phoning earlier (said he tried on Saturday). Stated that the size of the cancer was significant, that it had been there for at least two years.
9:15am Monday, 7 August 2006: CT scan of abdomen and pelvis. No eating or drinking for 4 hours beforehand, which meant the previous night. Had to drink large bottle of white fluid and injected with a dye.
After CT scan, injected with radioactive substance. Told to stay away from pregnant women and babies and return after lunch for full body bone scan.
4pm Friday, 11 August 2006: Elizabeth and I attended an appointment with Dr W. He had to stress the seriousness of my situation, which I had some trouble accepting. He seemed a little frustrated at my repeatedly telling him that I felt healthy.
He gave me a book on Localised Prostate Cancer, which contained my details, as well as general information:
Date of diagnosis: 27.07.2006
PSA level: 16.9
Cancer stage (DRE): T2C
Cancer grade (Gleason): 4+5 = 9
7 out of the 8 biopsies showed cancer and in depth (not just at surface).
The good news was that the cancer had not spread to my bones and other organs.
Given the extent of the cancer, Dr W advised against surgery, although he would go ahead if I insisted. This was after I had already stated I didn't want surgery after my father's experience. He said that my best chance was a special treatment at the Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH), Adelaide's central public hospital, a treatment that previously not on offer in Adelaide.